Violet Rays

First of all, I would like to say that I do realize it is in the middle of the week and a little late for weekly resolutions. However, I do not care. I am writing my resolutions now.

Secondly, I will be changing the name, because I'm totally biting off of Gala and I don't like the thought of that. It will be the same in nature, but with a different name. I haven't thought of one yet. Until then, they will be called 'weekly resolutions'.

With that being said, I resolute to...

• jog/walk everyday for 30 min
• write every single appointment down
• Be grateful every single day for at least 3 things
  

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I have not been doing this like I would have. Sry. Okay, here's today's list.

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            I absolutely love my privacy. It is hard to match how much I love being alone. I can stay in a room and live inside my mind for hours. Sounds insane, but I enjoy it. This is why college is so hard for me.

            In college there is no privacy. There somebody any and everywhere. I feel like somebody is stealing the one of the most precious things and it’s draining. Anything that I once thought or feel is something private becomes public and it upsets me so much. 

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College has less freedom, not more. I can’t choose what I want to eat everyday. I don’t have my own car so I have to depend on the MARTA or other people. I can’t just chill and blast music in my room whenever I want to. I can’t go to sleep whenever I want to without having to put my iPod in to block noise. It’s hard to be myself when I’m surrounded by the mainstream who constantly downcasts anyone who is different especially anyone socio-economically different. I feel more caged here than I do when I’m at home.

Love,

Leira Violet

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I would be some type of natural medication made from some unknown exotic flower that was a flaming violet color. The nickname for the medication would be ‘happy juice’.

 

Directions:

Take twice a day with energy

Must not be taken literally on many occasions

 

Warnings / Side effects

 

May cause annoyance in some. Either increase intake, decrease intake, or just go with the flow until desired effect.

 

You may experience stomach pains due to uncontrollable laughter. If this occurs just relax and breathe deeply.

 

Patients may daydream often and become more carefree than usual

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• Bianca
• Spirituality
• Justin Nozuka
• guitars
• The stars and moon

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My first problem was actually focusing while meditating/spend time with God. Now, I can't even find a time to do it.

I have only meditated twice this week. My goal was for everyday only for 10 min. Yet, I came nowhere close. I'm thankful for the 10 min that I did get in that is better than nothing.

It seems like there is so much preventing me from sitting down and focusing. I either have work to do, to sleepy, to busy doing this, or to busy doing that. I literally have to fight for time to focus in on God and meditate.

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• Friends who like talk back at movies- I think it makes the movie experience way more fun.
  
• cup of noodles-Despite the fact that I'm trying to go raw. They are still tasty.
  
• postcards- Recently, I've been writing postcards to my friends to let them know I still miss them. I think I had more fun making them then they would receive them. It brighten my day so much.
  
• Friends in general-It's homecoming and while many of my peers decided to go to coronation ball, I didn't.
• inspirational blogs- Whenever I'm down, bored, or upset, I go to Gala Darling's blog.
  

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• non-biological sisters
• music with awesome drum parts
• sleeping in until an hour before convocation
• junk food
• non-junk food

Love,
Leira Violet

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Yes, I'm bringing them back. Those lovely weekly resolutions. Here they are:

• Set up a studying schedule- I just want to get a better learning experience out of college than I am getting now and I believe this will help.
  

• meditate for 10 min a day
  

• eat more raw food- I'm no where near as healthy I would like to be and I really need to do something about it. On top of that I have new twilight shirt that I want to fit into by the movie release, my mother and I are in competition to see who loses the most weight, and I plan to participate in a triathlon in 10 yrs. Yea, I need to get to work.
  

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How does a Christian, someone who is living their Highest truth/though (as in Conversations with God), or someone who's attracting all that is good (as in The Secret) live? On a moment by moment basis what are they thinking? With every action what is their motive? How do they feel?

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Meditation is hard. It's especially hard when you're trying to meditate while laying down in a sleeping-like position. Because you're too afraid your roommate will wake up to see you randomly criss-cross applesauce in the middle of the room chanting and thinks you're a nut case, which was my case this morning.

For awhile I was thinking, and not meditating, it doesn't matter what she thinks. This is about my mental health and I should get up to meditate properly. Nevertheless, I laid there trying to meditate.

Once I got over that problem, there was the situation of how I should meditate. At first I did the usual focus on your breath and quiet your mind technique. Yet, I thought it would be a good time to use the law of attraction; therefore, I started focusing on whatI want my life to be like and started to feel grateful for it. Then my mind went on a ramble and 30 seconds later I had to bring it back to the law of attraction, but there was another problem. I started to attract to much, in my opinion, which wouldn't bring about what I really wanted the most as soon as I wanted. So, after an odd number of minutes that I didn't keep track of, I gave up for the day.

I'm not going to give up entirely. I know the power one's mind can effect their life. A really good way to perfect that power is through meditation. If anything happens tomorrow, I'll let you know. XOXO

Love,
Leira Violet

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I have been pressure so much to go out and party. People are making it their obligation to take me to a party. They think it is some kind of sin that I haven't been to at least one. I think God will forgive me, so I'm not going to a party.

Just because everyone else likes to go out, doesn't mean it is for me. Last time I check I'm a separate Individual with my own likes, dislikes, dream, hopes, and fears. Do not force your beliefs down my throat. Yes, 'believing' I have to go to a party because I'm in college is a belief. I 'believe' I can have fun without going into that atmosphere.

"Oh you need to get out and go to a party."
I don't need to do anything. There is nothing a really 'need', other than the basic necessities of life. I'm not going to die if I don't party.

I don't care what anybody says. I'm going to do something else. Like Robert Frost, I'm going to take the road less traveled. That's me taking a stroll down the path few have taken. Where will it take me? I have no clue. So, I'm saying no. Call me whatever you want to call me.

On top of that, I haven't got all of my high school rebellion out of my system. Therefore, the more you say I 'have to', 'must', or 'should' makes me not want to do it even more. I hate it so much when somebody pushes something on me. It makes me hate it even more.

I'm not going to a party and you can't make me.

Love,
Leira Violet

For those who haven't read Robert Frost's The Road Less Traveled
ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost

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I know. I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, but hold on. There shall be actual posts soon. I promise you.

Free laundry for now
washing as much as possible
90 cents a load soon

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It had the heads of Scylla
each stalked their prey with its one eye
In stealth and greed it scanned the multitude
All are oblivious to its presence
while it seeks those that resist

My hands move along
My mind rejects the motions
My lips move to the songs
My heart refuses the lyrics

Oh no! I've been spotted!
It takes its one eye and glares straight through me
My true motivations cannot be hidden
I'm raised above the masses in its firm grip
Soon paralyzed by scorn glances of dissent
each look disapproving my inner resistance

I await my execution.
to be burned at the stake for my non-conformity
or tortured 'til my soul could bare no more
What will big brother do to me?

Scylla drops me back down
I raise my arms and sing
with all my heart, soul, and mind

Love,
Leira Violet

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I'm so sorry I haven't been on for awhile. There has been so much going on. I had a job working with Middle School children where I learned a lot. I barely got into my dream college. That ordeal alone was an emotional rollercoaster. Those were the major events that happened, there are small details in between that would take up too much time (and memory) that I do not have.

A few days ago I made a contract, which is posted below, with myself which basically covered all that I wanted to be. So, far I haven't stayed entirely true to the contract. The problem is that it's lacking concrete goals or specific actions. To combat that I'm making a list of 50 (plus) things to do before I turned 30. Yes that's right 50 (plus) goals in a little more than a decade. Adventurous? Just a little.

Contract

I vow to take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I vow that every moment will be tuned toward my greatness.

I vow to be 100% of myself 100% of the time.

I vow to grow everyday.

I vow to be consistent

I vow to love myself

I vow to take action, and chase my dreams

I vow to believe in all of my dreams

Signed Leira Violet August 16, 2008

50+ B4 30+

1. Practice Gratitude everyday

Best way to improve your life

2. Go bungee jumping

3. Snowboard

4. Meditate for 2 hours

If you knew how random and spastic I can be, you would understand why this is on here

5. Do a back flip

6. Learn Capoeira

This kind of ties into the back flip. I've always wanted to do Capoeira, ever since I saw Catwoman (bad movie, awesome martial arts.) It's so playful; yet it can be very dangerous, like me (j/k :-D)

7. Learn 25 balloon animals

8. Learn contact juggling.

9. Write 10 songs (melody and notes included)

I have written some songs, but none of them have actual music to them. It's just lyrics

10. Go (and stay) Vegan

11. Learn fire poi

tee hee. pyro. tee hee.

12. Go overseas.

I don't think I want to stay in a high class hotel and eat the best (vegan) food they have to offer. I want to be able to really get to know the people.Yet, I'm too scared to just backpack around Europe or somewhere. I'll find a happy medium.

13. Ride a Rollercoaster.

Yes, I'm 18 and have never riden one

14. Make a six figure salary.

This is going to be a tad difficult

15. Read fully 'How to win friends and influnce people' and apply it.

16 Visit New York

17 Visit Northern California

18.Learn two new languages

19. stop waiting

20. Read a book every month for a year

21. Grow a (successful) Garden

22. Pray three times a day for a month

23. Actually do lent

24. Go horse back riding

25. Ask a boy out

That's going to be hard!!

26. Start a project and finish it

every project I've started independently, I never reallly finish. This project is going to be huge like building a car engine from scratch.

27. Once graduating college, continue to take classes. At least once a year.

28. Make a living off of writing and/or acting.

Both are unstable, but it can work.

29 Build a fractal card house with a base of 10.

I never really gotten pass four.

30. Attend a Red Carpet Event

I don't really know how this is going to happen

31. Do yoga every day for 2 months

32. Attend Burning Man

I can hear it call my name

33. Say 'I love you. You're beautiful' in the morning everyday.

34. Learn to take and give compliments

35. Attend a protest

36. Put a lot of my time and effort into a cause

37. Make my own medicine (inspired by Daniel Vitalis)

38. Run in a triathlon or ironman.

If you can see the shape I'm in. You will see this is a great feat.

39. Meet a few of the people I look up to.

Gala, Dhrumil, Rawzi, Britanie, Daniel Vitalis, Kris Carr, etc

40. Jump rope for 30 min straight

Just because :-)

41. Learn to drift

42. Learn to ballroom dance

43. Right a personal mission statement and live by it.

44. Go on a road trip across America

45. Accept myself for who I am

Easier said than done

46. Read Night by Elie Weisel and go to a concentration camp the next day

47. Learn to flair bartend

48, Learn my greatest strengths and weaknesses, then celebrate them

49. Surf

50. Attend NYC's bubble battle

51. Take Ballet

52. Vote

YAY!!! I'm 18!!!! One of the few privileges I want with being 18.

53. Attend an Opera

54. Fall in love

I've never had a boyfriend.

55. Find a four leaf clover

56. Donate Blood

57. Donate my time to a charity or work with those less fortunate

I think I can learn so much from being in a charity and working with those who have lost so much.

58. Watch a sunrise on a mountain top.

59. Do a Juice Fast for at least a week

Not one with conventional juice, but with fresh juice that I've made.

60. Start and finish a 1000 piece puzzle

My momma is the queen of puzzles. Every Christmas we get a puzzle and finish it by New Years'.

61. Read Walden

62. Get a Tattoo

Something a little discreet. Nothing too in your face.

63. Mountain/Rock Climb

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I am so homesick it is not even funny. I thought I was fine. It was until I slowed down to realize how much I miss my family. I just started crying out of nowhere. I wish I could stop. Thinking that my momma is going through the same thing only makes matters worse.

I don't really want to go home, but I don't exactly want to stay here. I just want any place that will give me a since of comfort. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here and I'm trying my hardest to blend in. I'm confused on most things, but thankfully everyone here is nice which makes it easier.

I want my brother. I want my sister. I want my momma. I want my daddy. I want a friend.

Love,
Leira Violet

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What does it take for a somebody to be a someone?

Does it take fame and fortune or work in the broiling sun?

Does it take a rich father or outrageously smart wit?

Does it take good looks or respecting the environment?

How about a pure heart, self-less eyes, or a kind tongue?

Or is that too lackluster for everyone?

Love,
Leira Violet

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