Violet Rays

First of all, I would like to say that I do realize it is in the middle of the week and a little late for weekly resolutions. However, I do not care. I am writing my resolutions now.

Secondly, I will be changing the name, because I'm totally biting off of Gala and I don't like the thought of that. It will be the same in nature, but with a different name. I haven't thought of one yet. Until then, they will be called 'weekly resolutions'.

With that being said, I resolute to...

• jog/walk everyday for 30 min
• write every single appointment down
• Be grateful every single day for at least 3 things
  

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College has less freedom, not more. I can’t choose what I want to eat everyday. I don’t have my own car so I have to depend on the MARTA or other people. I can’t just chill and blast music in my room whenever I want to. I can’t go to sleep whenever I want to without having to put my iPod in to block noise. It’s hard to be myself when I’m surrounded by the mainstream who constantly downcasts anyone who is different especially anyone socio-economically different. I feel more caged here than I do when I’m at home.

Love,

Leira Violet

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How does a Christian, someone who is living their Highest truth/though (as in Conversations with God), or someone who's attracting all that is good (as in The Secret) live? On a moment by moment basis what are they thinking? With every action what is their motive? How do they feel?

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Every night, make a list of five things you are grateful for. Continue this for a month. I'm going to do this also.

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I have been pressure so much to go out and party. People are making it their obligation to take me to a party. They think it is some kind of sin that I haven't been to at least one. I think God will forgive me, so I'm not going to a party.

Just because everyone else likes to go out, doesn't mean it is for me. Last time I check I'm a separate Individual with my own likes, dislikes, dream, hopes, and fears. Do not force your beliefs down my throat. Yes, 'believing' I have to go to a party because I'm in college is a belief. I 'believe' I can have fun without going into that atmosphere.

"Oh you need to get out and go to a party."
I don't need to do anything. There is nothing a really 'need', other than the basic necessities of life. I'm not going to die if I don't party.

I don't care what anybody says. I'm going to do something else. Like Robert Frost, I'm going to take the road less traveled. That's me taking a stroll down the path few have taken. Where will it take me? I have no clue. So, I'm saying no. Call me whatever you want to call me.

On top of that, I haven't got all of my high school rebellion out of my system. Therefore, the more you say I 'have to', 'must', or 'should' makes me not want to do it even more. I hate it so much when somebody pushes something on me. It makes me hate it even more.

I'm not going to a party and you can't make me.

Love,
Leira Violet

For those who haven't read Robert Frost's The Road Less Traveled
ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost

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I'm so sorry I haven't been on for awhile. There has been so much going on. I had a job working with Middle School children where I learned a lot. I barely got into my dream college. That ordeal alone was an emotional rollercoaster. Those were the major events that happened, there are small details in between that would take up too much time (and memory) that I do not have.

A few days ago I made a contract, which is posted below, with myself which basically covered all that I wanted to be. So, far I haven't stayed entirely true to the contract. The problem is that it's lacking concrete goals or specific actions. To combat that I'm making a list of 50 (plus) things to do before I turned 30. Yes that's right 50 (plus) goals in a little more than a decade. Adventurous? Just a little.

Contract

I vow to take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I vow that every moment will be tuned toward my greatness.

I vow to be 100% of myself 100% of the time.

I vow to grow everyday.

I vow to be consistent

I vow to love myself

I vow to take action, and chase my dreams

I vow to believe in all of my dreams

Signed Leira Violet August 16, 2008

50+ B4 30+

1. Practice Gratitude everyday

Best way to improve your life

2. Go bungee jumping

3. Snowboard

4. Meditate for 2 hours

If you knew how random and spastic I can be, you would understand why this is on here

5. Do a back flip

6. Learn Capoeira

This kind of ties into the back flip. I've always wanted to do Capoeira, ever since I saw Catwoman (bad movie, awesome martial arts.) It's so playful; yet it can be very dangerous, like me (j/k :-D)

7. Learn 25 balloon animals

8. Learn contact juggling.

9. Write 10 songs (melody and notes included)

I have written some songs, but none of them have actual music to them. It's just lyrics

10. Go (and stay) Vegan

11. Learn fire poi

tee hee. pyro. tee hee.

12. Go overseas.

I don't think I want to stay in a high class hotel and eat the best (vegan) food they have to offer. I want to be able to really get to know the people.Yet, I'm too scared to just backpack around Europe or somewhere. I'll find a happy medium.

13. Ride a Rollercoaster.

Yes, I'm 18 and have never riden one

14. Make a six figure salary.

This is going to be a tad difficult

15. Read fully 'How to win friends and influnce people' and apply it.

16 Visit New York

17 Visit Northern California

18.Learn two new languages

19. stop waiting

20. Read a book every month for a year

21. Grow a (successful) Garden

22. Pray three times a day for a month

23. Actually do lent

24. Go horse back riding

25. Ask a boy out

That's going to be hard!!

26. Start a project and finish it

every project I've started independently, I never reallly finish. This project is going to be huge like building a car engine from scratch.

27. Once graduating college, continue to take classes. At least once a year.

28. Make a living off of writing and/or acting.

Both are unstable, but it can work.

29 Build a fractal card house with a base of 10.

I never really gotten pass four.

30. Attend a Red Carpet Event

I don't really know how this is going to happen

31. Do yoga every day for 2 months

32. Attend Burning Man

I can hear it call my name

33. Say 'I love you. You're beautiful' in the morning everyday.

34. Learn to take and give compliments

35. Attend a protest

36. Put a lot of my time and effort into a cause

37. Make my own medicine (inspired by Daniel Vitalis)

38. Run in a triathlon or ironman.

If you can see the shape I'm in. You will see this is a great feat.

39. Meet a few of the people I look up to.

Gala, Dhrumil, Rawzi, Britanie, Daniel Vitalis, Kris Carr, etc

40. Jump rope for 30 min straight

Just because :-)

41. Learn to drift

42. Learn to ballroom dance

43. Right a personal mission statement and live by it.

44. Go on a road trip across America

45. Accept myself for who I am

Easier said than done

46. Read Night by Elie Weisel and go to a concentration camp the next day

47. Learn to flair bartend

48, Learn my greatest strengths and weaknesses, then celebrate them

49. Surf

50. Attend NYC's bubble battle

51. Take Ballet

52. Vote

YAY!!! I'm 18!!!! One of the few privileges I want with being 18.

53. Attend an Opera

54. Fall in love

I've never had a boyfriend.

55. Find a four leaf clover

56. Donate Blood

57. Donate my time to a charity or work with those less fortunate

I think I can learn so much from being in a charity and working with those who have lost so much.

58. Watch a sunrise on a mountain top.

59. Do a Juice Fast for at least a week

Not one with conventional juice, but with fresh juice that I've made.

60. Start and finish a 1000 piece puzzle

My momma is the queen of puzzles. Every Christmas we get a puzzle and finish it by New Years'.

61. Read Walden

62. Get a Tattoo

Something a little discreet. Nothing too in your face.

63. Mountain/Rock Climb

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I am so homesick it is not even funny. I thought I was fine. It was until I slowed down to realize how much I miss my family. I just started crying out of nowhere. I wish I could stop. Thinking that my momma is going through the same thing only makes matters worse.

I don't really want to go home, but I don't exactly want to stay here. I just want any place that will give me a since of comfort. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here and I'm trying my hardest to blend in. I'm confused on most things, but thankfully everyone here is nice which makes it easier.

I want my brother. I want my sister. I want my momma. I want my daddy. I want a friend.

Love,
Leira Violet

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It's kind of sad how I don't get any compliments unless my hair is fake.

First of all, I do love my hair the way it is and think it's really pretty, nor do I ignore/hate the comments that have been given.

Also, I do understand that my natural hair is still transitioning, which makes it look really awkward for a(long)while.

I just wish my natural hair was considered beautiful also.

I have to color/elongate my nails, cover my face (with make-up), and use factory hair to be considered beautiful.

It is annoying. It is HIGHLY annoying.

To contradict myself, it is fun to do that stuff that I listed above. Well, sometimes. I just wish I didn't feel like I have to do it all the time to get attention and I got quite a bit of attention, when I dressed up for Prom (oh yea, BTW all of this was for Prom last weekend).

ugggh.....life.

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What would ... think?

I look up to so many people.

I stopped and thought, if MLK, Audrey Hepburn, Richard Rodriguez, etc. saw how I act, What would they say to me?

Would they be proud or shameful?

That puts things in perspective. The next time you don't do your best and know that you're not, how will your idol think of you? Would he or she be as proud of you as you are of them? Wouldn't you want them to see you and say 'Good job'?

As far as I'm concerned, no. They wouldn't be. I adore MLK, but sit around and surf the internet. I want to be healthy as Anthony Anderson and Lokelani McMichael, but I eat junk, don't exercise, or do anything. I'm in awe of those who are spiritual, but don't even pray on a regular basis. I adore amazing writers such as Richard Rodriguez, but don't even write or read regularly.

Yes, there are things they would be proud of, but does the good outweigh the bad? maybe, maybe not.

Love,
Leira Violet

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Here are some suggestions for if you're having a bad day or just wishing to have a good one (everyday of your life). These tips are not in chronological order. So, you don't have to start the morning with the first tip and have to end the day with the last, pick and choose as you please.



Be Grateful

Find Something to be grateful for. It can be anything. I swear. Seriously, one morning I was grateful for Josh Groban. I've been waking up to his music for the past couple of months and I absolutely love the sound of his voice.



Get Movin'

No you don't have to go to the gym at the crack of down and workout like warrior. You can just dance like nobody is watching. The thing is to get your heart pumping and have fun. Exercise alone releases endorphins which is basically the happy button in the body. Also, how can you not feel good while smiling?

Eat Decently

You can't feel awesome, if you eat crap. End of story.

Be Pollyanna

Okay, don't go as far as pollyanna, but do try to stay optimistic. A good majority of the time there is a good side to the situation, so focus on that.

Be silly

Remember how you felt when you were with some friends and acted goofy just for the heck of it? Most likely, you were on cloud 9. For extra kicks, take pictures. There some pictures of me floating on the web that are not so flattering, but I love them because of the memories they bring back.

Stress Less

Is what you're worrying about going to matter in 10 years from now? How about 5 or 1 year from now? No? If not, stop stressing! Yes, get needs to be done over with, but don't grow gray hair over the matter. It only ages you.

Let it out

If something is seriously bothering you, let it out. Find a friend that you trust, grab a journal, or do whatever you feel is appropiate and just let it out. Holding on to frustration effects only you (and for the worse). Once again, it ages you.

Love,

Leira Violet

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Happy St. Patty's Day to all!!!!

If you couldn't tell by my lack of update or even mentioning of my past goals that I completely failed, I'm telling you straightforwardly right now. I failed. All the goals. Everything. Every plan I planned. Gone.


So here I am. starting over.

There is one crucial step that I left out. You must keep the goals visible. They must be present in a place/way that you would see them everyday. It worked the very first time that I tried it when it was brightly placed on my desk. Now the resolutions are taped conveniently against my dresser where it could be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. Yes, granted that it's dark at that time, but I'm always sitting on my bed while my desk in the left corner collects dust.


Weekly Resolutions:

Rawness
Now that it's spring break I can focused on being and staying raw. I need to work on being raw first because that is tricky just on its own.

Do the 'blech' stuff
i.e. homework, scholarships, essay, job hunting, etc. I'm going to actually lists these out later on tonite so I can check them off.

Promote Blog
I really need to get this thing up and running. It's been, what, 2 months?

Blog majority of the week.
I have material and stuff I want to write about. I just haven't written it yet. So look out for new material this week

Love,
Leira Violet

P.S.
SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Love,

Leira Violet

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Fear is a bitch. It can have you walking on eggshells or paralyzed to make a move. The possible repercussions of your actions glare over your shoulder, reminding you of how catastrophic your life can turn out at any wrong move. What do you do?

I’m at that point in my life. I’m looking at that ugly green monster everyday. The realization that the next 4 months will dictate the next 4 years of my life hit me and that scares the life out of me. Three choices. One, sit down and let fear consume life, just wait for the worst to come. Two, walk on eggshells and lose the chance to really experience life. Three, push through it, do what I can do, and let the cards fall as they may.

I think my choice is slightly apparent. Doesn’t mean that I’m not scared.
Love,
Leira Violet

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