Violet Rays

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• Bianca
• Spirituality
• Justin Nozuka
• guitars
• The stars and moon

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My first problem was actually focusing while meditating/spend time with God. Now, I can't even find a time to do it.

I have only meditated twice this week. My goal was for everyday only for 10 min. Yet, I came nowhere close. I'm thankful for the 10 min that I did get in that is better than nothing.

It seems like there is so much preventing me from sitting down and focusing. I either have work to do, to sleepy, to busy doing this, or to busy doing that. I literally have to fight for time to focus in on God and meditate.

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• Friends who like talk back at movies- I think it makes the movie experience way more fun.
  
• cup of noodles-Despite the fact that I'm trying to go raw. They are still tasty.
  
• postcards- Recently, I've been writing postcards to my friends to let them know I still miss them. I think I had more fun making them then they would receive them. It brighten my day so much.
  
• Friends in general-It's homecoming and while many of my peers decided to go to coronation ball, I didn't.
• inspirational blogs- Whenever I'm down, bored, or upset, I go to Gala Darling's blog.
  

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• non-biological sisters
• music with awesome drum parts
• sleeping in until an hour before convocation
• junk food
• non-junk food

Love,
Leira Violet

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Yes, I'm bringing them back. Those lovely weekly resolutions. Here they are:

• Set up a studying schedule- I just want to get a better learning experience out of college than I am getting now and I believe this will help.
  

• meditate for 10 min a day
  

• eat more raw food- I'm no where near as healthy I would like to be and I really need to do something about it. On top of that I have new twilight shirt that I want to fit into by the movie release, my mother and I are in competition to see who loses the most weight, and I plan to participate in a triathlon in 10 yrs. Yea, I need to get to work.
  

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How does a Christian, someone who is living their Highest truth/though (as in Conversations with God), or someone who's attracting all that is good (as in The Secret) live? On a moment by moment basis what are they thinking? With every action what is their motive? How do they feel?

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Meditation is hard. It's especially hard when you're trying to meditate while laying down in a sleeping-like position. Because you're too afraid your roommate will wake up to see you randomly criss-cross applesauce in the middle of the room chanting and thinks you're a nut case, which was my case this morning.

For awhile I was thinking, and not meditating, it doesn't matter what she thinks. This is about my mental health and I should get up to meditate properly. Nevertheless, I laid there trying to meditate.

Once I got over that problem, there was the situation of how I should meditate. At first I did the usual focus on your breath and quiet your mind technique. Yet, I thought it would be a good time to use the law of attraction; therefore, I started focusing on whatI want my life to be like and started to feel grateful for it. Then my mind went on a ramble and 30 seconds later I had to bring it back to the law of attraction, but there was another problem. I started to attract to much, in my opinion, which wouldn't bring about what I really wanted the most as soon as I wanted. So, after an odd number of minutes that I didn't keep track of, I gave up for the day.

I'm not going to give up entirely. I know the power one's mind can effect their life. A really good way to perfect that power is through meditation. If anything happens tomorrow, I'll let you know. XOXO

Love,
Leira Violet

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• a brand new day
• friends who invite me over to their house for fall break
• copious amounts of music
• learning to play a musical instrument without a teacher (aka trial and error)
• leaving flirty notes to cute waiters
• (extra) blue pens

Love,
Leira Violet

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I'm going to run 3 miles in January.

That is my new goal. I start training tomorrow. :-D

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Every night, make a list of five things you are grateful for. Continue this for a month. I'm going to do this also.

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Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how pretty, clever, cool or cashed-up they are.

No one will ever have your unique twist of talents, perspectives or beauty.

You do enough. You have enough. You are enough.

Stop comparing yourself to other girls, no matter how talented, well-dressed, popular or capable they are.

You improve the world more than you can possibly comprehend, just by being true to who you are every day.

Go outside & be fabulous. Watching who you are, & seeing what you’re becoming, makes us so proud to know you. The world delights in your presence. We all love you very much.


Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala

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"I would rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity"
-Unknown

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I have been pressure so much to go out and party. People are making it their obligation to take me to a party. They think it is some kind of sin that I haven't been to at least one. I think God will forgive me, so I'm not going to a party.

Just because everyone else likes to go out, doesn't mean it is for me. Last time I check I'm a separate Individual with my own likes, dislikes, dream, hopes, and fears. Do not force your beliefs down my throat. Yes, 'believing' I have to go to a party because I'm in college is a belief. I 'believe' I can have fun without going into that atmosphere.

"Oh you need to get out and go to a party."
I don't need to do anything. There is nothing a really 'need', other than the basic necessities of life. I'm not going to die if I don't party.

I don't care what anybody says. I'm going to do something else. Like Robert Frost, I'm going to take the road less traveled. That's me taking a stroll down the path few have taken. Where will it take me? I have no clue. So, I'm saying no. Call me whatever you want to call me.

On top of that, I haven't got all of my high school rebellion out of my system. Therefore, the more you say I 'have to', 'must', or 'should' makes me not want to do it even more. I hate it so much when somebody pushes something on me. It makes me hate it even more.

I'm not going to a party and you can't make me.

Love,
Leira Violet

For those who haven't read Robert Frost's The Road Less Traveled
ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference


Robert Frost

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I know. I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, but hold on. There shall be actual posts soon. I promise you.

Free laundry for now
washing as much as possible
90 cents a load soon

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It had the heads of Scylla
each stalked their prey with its one eye
In stealth and greed it scanned the multitude
All are oblivious to its presence
while it seeks those that resist

My hands move along
My mind rejects the motions
My lips move to the songs
My heart refuses the lyrics

Oh no! I've been spotted!
It takes its one eye and glares straight through me
My true motivations cannot be hidden
I'm raised above the masses in its firm grip
Soon paralyzed by scorn glances of dissent
each look disapproving my inner resistance

I await my execution.
to be burned at the stake for my non-conformity
or tortured 'til my soul could bare no more
What will big brother do to me?

Scylla drops me back down
I raise my arms and sing
with all my heart, soul, and mind

Love,
Leira Violet

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This is the beginning of a series of haikus about my college experience.

Can't wait for Christmas
There's less than 4 months 'til then
Dreams, private bathroom

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The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.

-Walden by Henry David Thoreau

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I'm so sorry I haven't been on for awhile. There has been so much going on. I had a job working with Middle School children where I learned a lot. I barely got into my dream college. That ordeal alone was an emotional rollercoaster. Those were the major events that happened, there are small details in between that would take up too much time (and memory) that I do not have.

A few days ago I made a contract, which is posted below, with myself which basically covered all that I wanted to be. So, far I haven't stayed entirely true to the contract. The problem is that it's lacking concrete goals or specific actions. To combat that I'm making a list of 50 (plus) things to do before I turned 30. Yes that's right 50 (plus) goals in a little more than a decade. Adventurous? Just a little.

Contract

I vow to take care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I vow that every moment will be tuned toward my greatness.

I vow to be 100% of myself 100% of the time.

I vow to grow everyday.

I vow to be consistent

I vow to love myself

I vow to take action, and chase my dreams

I vow to believe in all of my dreams

Signed Leira Violet August 16, 2008

50+ B4 30+

1. Practice Gratitude everyday

Best way to improve your life

2. Go bungee jumping

3. Snowboard

4. Meditate for 2 hours

If you knew how random and spastic I can be, you would understand why this is on here

5. Do a back flip

6. Learn Capoeira

This kind of ties into the back flip. I've always wanted to do Capoeira, ever since I saw Catwoman (bad movie, awesome martial arts.) It's so playful; yet it can be very dangerous, like me (j/k :-D)

7. Learn 25 balloon animals

8. Learn contact juggling.

9. Write 10 songs (melody and notes included)

I have written some songs, but none of them have actual music to them. It's just lyrics

10. Go (and stay) Vegan

11. Learn fire poi

tee hee. pyro. tee hee.

12. Go overseas.

I don't think I want to stay in a high class hotel and eat the best (vegan) food they have to offer. I want to be able to really get to know the people.Yet, I'm too scared to just backpack around Europe or somewhere. I'll find a happy medium.

13. Ride a Rollercoaster.

Yes, I'm 18 and have never riden one

14. Make a six figure salary.

This is going to be a tad difficult

15. Read fully 'How to win friends and influnce people' and apply it.

16 Visit New York

17 Visit Northern California

18.Learn two new languages

19. stop waiting

20. Read a book every month for a year

21. Grow a (successful) Garden

22. Pray three times a day for a month

23. Actually do lent

24. Go horse back riding

25. Ask a boy out

That's going to be hard!!

26. Start a project and finish it

every project I've started independently, I never reallly finish. This project is going to be huge like building a car engine from scratch.

27. Once graduating college, continue to take classes. At least once a year.

28. Make a living off of writing and/or acting.

Both are unstable, but it can work.

29 Build a fractal card house with a base of 10.

I never really gotten pass four.

30. Attend a Red Carpet Event

I don't really know how this is going to happen

31. Do yoga every day for 2 months

32. Attend Burning Man

I can hear it call my name

33. Say 'I love you. You're beautiful' in the morning everyday.

34. Learn to take and give compliments

35. Attend a protest

36. Put a lot of my time and effort into a cause

37. Make my own medicine (inspired by Daniel Vitalis)

38. Run in a triathlon or ironman.

If you can see the shape I'm in. You will see this is a great feat.

39. Meet a few of the people I look up to.

Gala, Dhrumil, Rawzi, Britanie, Daniel Vitalis, Kris Carr, etc

40. Jump rope for 30 min straight

Just because :-)

41. Learn to drift

42. Learn to ballroom dance

43. Right a personal mission statement and live by it.

44. Go on a road trip across America

45. Accept myself for who I am

Easier said than done

46. Read Night by Elie Weisel and go to a concentration camp the next day

47. Learn to flair bartend

48, Learn my greatest strengths and weaknesses, then celebrate them

49. Surf

50. Attend NYC's bubble battle

51. Take Ballet

52. Vote

YAY!!! I'm 18!!!! One of the few privileges I want with being 18.

53. Attend an Opera

54. Fall in love

I've never had a boyfriend.

55. Find a four leaf clover

56. Donate Blood

57. Donate my time to a charity or work with those less fortunate

I think I can learn so much from being in a charity and working with those who have lost so much.

58. Watch a sunrise on a mountain top.

59. Do a Juice Fast for at least a week

Not one with conventional juice, but with fresh juice that I've made.

60. Start and finish a 1000 piece puzzle

My momma is the queen of puzzles. Every Christmas we get a puzzle and finish it by New Years'.

61. Read Walden

62. Get a Tattoo

Something a little discreet. Nothing too in your face.

63. Mountain/Rock Climb

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I am so homesick it is not even funny. I thought I was fine. It was until I slowed down to realize how much I miss my family. I just started crying out of nowhere. I wish I could stop. Thinking that my momma is going through the same thing only makes matters worse.

I don't really want to go home, but I don't exactly want to stay here. I just want any place that will give me a since of comfort. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here and I'm trying my hardest to blend in. I'm confused on most things, but thankfully everyone here is nice which makes it easier.

I want my brother. I want my sister. I want my momma. I want my daddy. I want a friend.

Love,
Leira Violet

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Hello Loves,
I haven't posted pictures in awhile. So, here you go.






Love,
Leira Violet

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What does it take for a somebody to be a someone?

Does it take fame and fortune or work in the broiling sun?

Does it take a rich father or outrageously smart wit?

Does it take good looks or respecting the environment?

How about a pure heart, self-less eyes, or a kind tongue?

Or is that too lackluster for everyone?

Love,
Leira Violet

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Hello Loves,

The hardest thing for me to learn is to have an idea or believe something that nobody else agrees with and stand alone. I have this giant desire to fit in, to have connections with people, that I will sometimes belittle or hide the belief or idea.

I really want to be able to disagree with everyone and still feel complete, not needing reassurence from other people.

I'm always in the closet about something. Yes, everybody may know that I believe one thing or another, but having an in-depth conversation with someone I don't know very well and be able to hold my own is nearly impossible. For the most part I keep my ideas and beliefs to myself due to fear.

I don't want to becom extreme and end up closed minded, thinking my way is the only way. I'm a very open person. I almost pride myself on it. I have that skill down pack. Dealing with this issue, it is unlikely that I will lose my willingness to be open. Although being open is a good characteristic to have, I may be too open.

When it boils down, it is about being comfortable in my own skin. Another issue I'm still dealing with. Knowing that I'm not stupid for saying this or that and that I'm completely fine the way I am with all my beliefs, thoughts, and ideas.

What is the hardest thing for you to learn?

Love,
LeiraViolet

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It's kind of sad how I don't get any compliments unless my hair is fake.

First of all, I do love my hair the way it is and think it's really pretty, nor do I ignore/hate the comments that have been given.

Also, I do understand that my natural hair is still transitioning, which makes it look really awkward for a(long)while.

I just wish my natural hair was considered beautiful also.

I have to color/elongate my nails, cover my face (with make-up), and use factory hair to be considered beautiful.

It is annoying. It is HIGHLY annoying.

To contradict myself, it is fun to do that stuff that I listed above. Well, sometimes. I just wish I didn't feel like I have to do it all the time to get attention and I got quite a bit of attention, when I dressed up for Prom (oh yea, BTW all of this was for Prom last weekend).

ugggh.....life.

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What would ... think?

I look up to so many people.

I stopped and thought, if MLK, Audrey Hepburn, Richard Rodriguez, etc. saw how I act, What would they say to me?

Would they be proud or shameful?

That puts things in perspective. The next time you don't do your best and know that you're not, how will your idol think of you? Would he or she be as proud of you as you are of them? Wouldn't you want them to see you and say 'Good job'?

As far as I'm concerned, no. They wouldn't be. I adore MLK, but sit around and surf the internet. I want to be healthy as Anthony Anderson and Lokelani McMichael, but I eat junk, don't exercise, or do anything. I'm in awe of those who are spiritual, but don't even pray on a regular basis. I adore amazing writers such as Richard Rodriguez, but don't even write or read regularly.

Yes, there are things they would be proud of, but does the good outweigh the bad? maybe, maybe not.

Love,
Leira Violet

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Sorry readers the past week has been a little busy and completely out of focus. I've been in an unfavorable mood and I don't know why. Bare with me please. I have about 3 blog post topics that I really want to share, but for now answer one (or all) these questions.

Which of the pictures I have posted is your favorite and why?

Who do you look up to and why?

What would you like to see me write more about?

Love,
Leira Violet

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First of all, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you all are having a lovely day.





Now it's about time to showcase more artwork I've found on the internet. I try to do it about once a week. My goal was every friday, but I think I'm going to move it to every sunday. Also my friend (Amanda) made an awesome blog post that I think every girl should read.




Time for eye candy

Note: None of these photographs are originals. They were all found on flickr and like an idiot I didn't save many of the artist's names. The last three are done by fredico bebber.

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Here are some suggestions for if you're having a bad day or just wishing to have a good one (everyday of your life). These tips are not in chronological order. So, you don't have to start the morning with the first tip and have to end the day with the last, pick and choose as you please.



Be Grateful

Find Something to be grateful for. It can be anything. I swear. Seriously, one morning I was grateful for Josh Groban. I've been waking up to his music for the past couple of months and I absolutely love the sound of his voice.



Get Movin'

No you don't have to go to the gym at the crack of down and workout like warrior. You can just dance like nobody is watching. The thing is to get your heart pumping and have fun. Exercise alone releases endorphins which is basically the happy button in the body. Also, how can you not feel good while smiling?

Eat Decently

You can't feel awesome, if you eat crap. End of story.

Be Pollyanna

Okay, don't go as far as pollyanna, but do try to stay optimistic. A good majority of the time there is a good side to the situation, so focus on that.

Be silly

Remember how you felt when you were with some friends and acted goofy just for the heck of it? Most likely, you were on cloud 9. For extra kicks, take pictures. There some pictures of me floating on the web that are not so flattering, but I love them because of the memories they bring back.

Stress Less

Is what you're worrying about going to matter in 10 years from now? How about 5 or 1 year from now? No? If not, stop stressing! Yes, get needs to be done over with, but don't grow gray hair over the matter. It only ages you.

Let it out

If something is seriously bothering you, let it out. Find a friend that you trust, grab a journal, or do whatever you feel is appropiate and just let it out. Holding on to frustration effects only you (and for the worse). Once again, it ages you.

Love,

Leira Violet

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Happy St. Patty's Day to all!!!!

If you couldn't tell by my lack of update or even mentioning of my past goals that I completely failed, I'm telling you straightforwardly right now. I failed. All the goals. Everything. Every plan I planned. Gone.


So here I am. starting over.

There is one crucial step that I left out. You must keep the goals visible. They must be present in a place/way that you would see them everyday. It worked the very first time that I tried it when it was brightly placed on my desk. Now the resolutions are taped conveniently against my dresser where it could be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. Yes, granted that it's dark at that time, but I'm always sitting on my bed while my desk in the left corner collects dust.


Weekly Resolutions:

Rawness
Now that it's spring break I can focused on being and staying raw. I need to work on being raw first because that is tricky just on its own.

Do the 'blech' stuff
i.e. homework, scholarships, essay, job hunting, etc. I'm going to actually lists these out later on tonite so I can check them off.

Promote Blog
I really need to get this thing up and running. It's been, what, 2 months?

Blog majority of the week.
I have material and stuff I want to write about. I just haven't written it yet. So look out for new material this week

Love,
Leira Violet

P.S.
SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I thought I would give you a break from words and showcase some beautiful photography that I've found on the internet. Here's is some pictures that caught my attention. enjoy.

Love,

Leira Violet

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Here's a challenge.



Whenever you see someone with nice shoes, pretty eyes, good haircut, etc tell them (boy or girl).



Why?

Who doesn't like getting compliments? We here it so often about how people have low self-esteem and how self-conscious people are about this and that. Why not try to make things better by throwing a compliment here and there?



You know how a compliment can turn an otherwise bad day into a good one.



I'm going to do it. I'm going to give out at least one compliment a day. Hey, you never know what might happen. It's possible that it can do as much good to you as to the person you're complimenting.



Love,

Leira Violet

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